Harness the Power of Skill Sets and Mindsets

When you have a problem, sometimes you need a new skill or skill set to deal with it. That was an epiphany generated from listening to a speaker the other day. Everything seemed so clear in that moment. Yes, it made sense.

Sometimes when you wrestle with problems, you might not see an immediate solution and you struggle to find one. After a while, you might give up completely, thinking that it is impossible to find a solution for that particular problem. At that moment, the idea that you might simply need new skills or knowledge to overcome the difficulty can be very empowering.

Making that mental connection allows you to escape being stuck and giving up, it focuses your mind on a solution. It doesn't allow you to think that there is no solution which can only lead to depression or feeling 'down'.

But then you might think that you lack knowledge or skills in a certain area. Yet, you know that you could either find that knowledge or develop the skills to solve your problem.

Alternatively, you could hire someone to solve your problem. NO killing please, that is not a solution, but a doorway to greater problems. However, under normal circumstances, hiring someone with the right skills is perfectly acceptable. For example, you might higher a plumber if you have a problem with your shower or sink. You could take the time to learn the skills but you have to weigh the value of that learning curve against how much it would cost to actually hire someone with the skills already.

Maybe you have decided that there is no one with the skill set you need available or that it is worth your time to develop a new skill. What are some sources of knowledge and places to develop these new skill sets? Libraries, books, online searches, bookstores, Internet, circles of influence, brainstorming, mastermind groups and even asking someone you don't know for their viewpoint can sometimes yield new ideas, leading to new results.

The bottom line is that there are resources everywhere for you to tap into, you just have to open your eyes and allow yourself to become aware that this is the case. There is always a way to find new resources and you can keep tapping those resources for expertise until you find what you are looking for and you develop the new skill.

There are also ways to reframe existing problems. Questioning the underlying thoughts that support your belief that you even have a problem in the first place can sometimes yield interesting results. Sometimes we get stuck in a mindset and asking ourselves questions to understand the legitimacy or redefine the reality of situation can be most useful.

By Dave Snape

The 99 Percent Rule

It's Friday night, you're sitting at a restaurant, and as your meal arrives, the server says, "Now, don't touch that plate. It's hot." What's the first thing you do?

Well, 99% of the time you're going to touch that plate, right?

I call it the 99% rule. It's closer to 100%, but I give myself a little "out" for those who wish to find a loophole in it.

After years of studying human behavior, I've come up with a few of these 99% rules that I wish to share with you today. Looking for these common denominators in everyday conversation will help you read between the lines more quickly.

When someone starts a sentence with it's not, they're usually trying to tell you what something really is without hurting your feelings.

When someone starts a sentence with I don't, they're trying to direct you without hurting your feelings.

Here are some examples of the first rule in action.

When they say, "It's not you, it's me," they're trying to tell you that it is you. (Since I date quite a bit, I hear this one quite often!)

When they say, "It's not that you're too short," they're trying to tell you that they think you are too short.

When they say, "It's not that I have a drinking problem," what probably comes out of their mouth next is a story about how they drank too much.

Get the picture? But please don't take my word for this. Listen for yourself. It will amaze you.

Here's how I use the 99% rule in everyday activity to help me cut to the chase and find out what's really on someone's mind. Let's say a salesperson comes into my office and begins his sentence with, "It's not that we're trying to raise money, we're simply trying to help you gain a new product line for your corporation."

Now, whatever comes out of his mouth next doesn't really make a difference, because I know by using the 99% rule that he really wants to raise money. So I would interrupt him mid-sentence and say, "Listen, you need money, and I could use the product. Forget the five dollars that you want for each unit. I'll save us both time and give you what you could really use: two dollars each. Do you want it?"

You see, once you master listening to what people are actually trying to tell you, it puts you in control and it can save a lot of heartache in the long run.

The other example I mentioned was the phrase I don't. When someone starts a sentence with I don't, the 99% rule tells you that they're actually trying to direct you without hurting your feelings. Here are some examples.

"I don't want to tell you how to raise your children, but . . ."

"I don't want to tell you how to drive, but . . ."

"I don't want you to take my side, but . . ."

See what I mean?

Now go out and use this information for yourself. Try it out with your friends, business associates, and dates. They'll be amazed at how well you can read them, and you'll look like a star by simply using and applying the 99% rule.

By Keep Smilin

Perfectionism - The Dangerous Trap!

Just when I have something figured out, along comes another how-to-article telling me how to be or do something better or even change my entire life. No matter where I turn, I am constantly reminded that I am not good enough in more ways than one. I am not smart enough, not rich enough, not slim enough, not efficient enough, not pretty enough, not powerful enough, not "with it" enough and probably "out of it" altogether.

That's me and it gets worse. In line with our education economy, yesterday's perfect diet is banned today and my car of the year was just recalled. My time-management is out of date and my writing achievements fade against the big authors. Yes, I am my own worst critic. Growing up with perfectionist parents didn't help either. It wasn't until their seventies, that my father could tolerate fingerprints on his freshly washed car and that my mother learned to enjoy a meal without matching table décor.

Perfectionism is driving us up the wall or around the bend and neither direction is desirable. No wonder half of the population is on Prozac and the other half copes on some other crutch. We live under constant pressure to be perfect and expect nothing less from others. Intensely glued to information that helps us conform to some perfect ideal, we learn less about ourselves. Detached from the core of who we are, we show up with fabricated selves to gain approval.

There is quite a difference between aiming for a successful life or relationship and trying to achieve perfection. Contrary to popular belief, perfection is not required to succeed in love and life. In fact, the perfectionism-trap has serious negative consequences:

We feel our accomplishments are never good enough

We don't achieve personal satisfaction

We value people based on their achievements

We believe doing our best doesn't cut it

We take mistakes personally and hesitate to try again

We are afraid to show our flaws

We are vulnerable to rejection

We do what we should, not what we want

We set impossible to reach goals

We are hard on others and ourselves

We expect perfection of others

We develop a obsession with perfectionism

We feel we never measure up

We fear failure in relationships and have difficulties being intimate

We don't pursue a relationship out of fear it might not be perfect

We become critical of our partners

To sum it up, we believe that unless we are perfect success and love will evade us. The biggest cost of perfectionism is our neglect of the humble core within and our failure to claim a life in alignment with our true self. Instead of focussing on our qualities and all that is right with us, we are busy fixing everything seemingly imperfect. Driven to live up to the perfect ideal we become pretentious, self-promoting, critical human beings. Because of our focus on achieving goals, we never enjoy the journey of getting there. As a result we lose the irreplaceable moments of relating to people and doing things.

Webster defines perfectionism as "a disposition, which regards anything short of perfect as unacceptable". The torment for perfectionists is that they never find anything perfect, simply because perfection does not exist. Instead they suffer from social and personal anxiety and strained relationships. To find peace, accept ourselves and nurture the best in us, we have to overcome perfectionism and:

·Use our mistakes as opportunities for growth

·Set goals in line with who we are and what we want

·Accept ourselves as human beings with flaws

·Give a little less than 100% and still experience success

·Enjoy the journey instead of just focussing on the goal

·Recognize that anxiety arises when we set unrealistic goals

·Understand that we get more done and feel better about ourselves if we don't strive for perfection.

·Give up the irrational belief that relationships must be perfect ·Stop second guessing ourselves

·Be compassionate with ourselves and our partners

Thousands of people give less than 100% to a goal, but 100% to the journey and succeed. Everyday people don't give all they've got, but still get done what they need to. If we try to give 100 % to everything we do, we never get enough done. Perfectionists operate on the assumption that unless they can give 100 % to a task, they won't even start. As a result, they become occupied with trivial details and put off tasks until they can make a 100% effort. Perfectionists tend to be procrastinators with endless to-do lists and dreams put on hold until "some day."

When it comes to relationships, perfectionists don't do that well either. Single perfectionists keep on dating without making a choice, thinking someone more perfect will be around the corner. When they are in a relationship, the fear that it might not be perfect, keeps their relationships from progressing. Even when they finally settle with a partner, second-guessing their choice and being critical of their partner ensures frustrating relationships. Compromise in love as well as in life is difficult for them. Perfectionists pay a high price for the misguided belief that choosing the right love partner will guarantee a perfect relationship.

The entire perfectionist-trap becomes a vicious cycle in life and love. The more we attempt to be perfect in every area, the more anxious we get. This anxiety is coupled with a feeling of always falling short or behind. Consequently we concentrate on what is wrong with us or what we didn't do. While doing our very best is admirable, more often than not, doing a good job is enough. The truth is that we are always half-cooked human beings in transition. Nobody will love us any more just because we are more perfect. We are being loved for the passion and spirit we bring to the table as genuine human beings.

By Allie Ochs

Life - The Teacher

You've probably heard the phrase "repetition is the mother of learning" well apparently it's also the mother of teaching. Often it seems, Life - The Teacher uses the tool of repetition to imprint into our brains the lessons it's needing to impart to us. At least this has been my experience.

It has become clear to me that life gives the same tests over, and over and over again until we demonstrate that we've learned the lesson by passing the test. This teacher seems more than happy to show us again and again why it may be a bad idea to take a particular action, or choose one direction over another. The good news here is that it works both ways. Like any good teacher choose properly and life smiles. Choose improperly and life corrects.

Sometimes I wish and think that it would be simpler and easier if the teacher would just make all of my decisions for me and let me know exactly what I'm supposed to do, but of course that's not the way it works. In this teacher role life is just an administrator, not an advisor or counselor. Life is there to administer and grade the tests.

Once you pass the test however, Life records your grade and moves on to the next lesson. But don't completely discard the lesson you've just learned as over because it's not. You may not see or have to deal with this particular thing again for quite some time but you can bet at some point down the road you will see it again. The lessons and tests we've passed usually return in the form of pop quiz's. Out of the blue one day an opportunity to display this lesson learned will pop up and you'll have to conquer it all over again. If you fail or don't score high enough on this little pop quiz you'll have to deal with it more and more often until you pass the test again. Like starting over with it. The trick is to score high marks on the lessons because the higher the score the less often life throws it at you. Show a mastery of it, and it is presented as a test with much less frequency.

So the question: What are you tired of having to deal with day in and day out? What lesson do you feel life is beating you up with?

Want to get rid of it? Show life (and yourself) that you get it. Do whatever you need to do to display that you've mastered this particular lesson. Life will reciprocate by giving you a break from it. But remember, Life is smart. You can't trick it. The higher degree to which you display a mastery of the lesson, the less frequently life will re-present it to you.

Anyway, that's my take. What's yours?

Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday.

C...

By Clyde Dennis

Business Ideas - Need a New Idea? Try Changing Your Perspective

One definition of creativity states that creative people look at the same thing everyone else does, yet they see something no one else does.

But even creative people (which includes all of you, of course) can run into roadblocks every now and then. Sometimes it's not possible to see something different. Sometimes you've just been staring at a problem for so long it's now impossible to look at it in any other way.

So what do you do in these situations?

Why not try changing your perspective?

Consider this: A friend of mind who does needlepoint has a design that's mostly black. Rather than simply stitching the design on white canvas with black thread, she's using a black canvas and is stitching the negative aspects of the design instead of the positive.

She changed the way she viewed the problem. And now she has a really cool-looking needlepoint design that's different from most other ones out there.

Or what about this: An art teacher has her students turn a photograph or object upside down and paint what they see -- not a picture but an arrangement of shapes.

By changing your perspective, you're changing what you see. And when you change what you see, you're more likely to create something completely different.

But -- I can hear you all saying right now -- that's art. That won't help me with my business problem.

Okay, so here's another story from the book "Thinkertoys" by Michael Michalko. Back in the 1950s, experts proclaimed the ocean freighter industry was dying. Costs were skyrocketing and delivery times kept getting pushed back later and later.

Executives at the shipping companies kept focusing on ways to cut costs while ships were sailing. They developed ships that went faster and needed fewer crew members to run.

It didn't work. Costs continued to spiral out of control and it still took too long to get the merchandise shipped.

Then one day, a consultant changed the perspective. Rather than ask the question: " In what ways might we make ships more economical while at sea?" executives asked: "In what ways can we reduce costs?"

Ta-da!

Ships are big money-sucking machines when they aren't at sea actually doing their job -- shipping merchandise. And when aren't they working? When they're sitting in port being loaded and unloaded.

So, the industry came up with way to preload merchandise on land. Now a ship comes in, the container carrying the cargo rolls off, a new container already loaded with cargo rolls on, and the ship heads back to sea.

That one innovation saved an entire industry. And it happened because shipping executives changed the way they viewed their problem.

Creativity Exercise -- Change your perspective

So, how can you change your perspective and solve your business/marketing problems?

Try what the shipping industry did and change the question.

Instead of looking at a narrow part of the problem ("In what ways can we make ships more economical while at sea?") broaden the question ("In what ways can we reduce costs in general?")

Here's another example.

Maybe your question is "how can I land more clients?" What if you started broadening the question like so:

How can I land more clients?

How can I grow my business?

How can I make more money from my business?

How can I make more money period?

How can I be happier in my life? (I know, I know, money doesn't buy happiness. But it's certainly nice to have.)

Maybe one of those questions is a better place to look for a solution. Because maybe one of those questions is the "real" question you want to solve, but since you never took a step back to look at the big picture, you've never discovered the right question to ask.

And if you don't ask the right question, your muse will never give you an answer that actually solves your problem.

By Michele Pariza Wacek

Accelerate Your Learning

Although you may not currently be a student, learning is a life long process. Perhaps you need to learn something new for your job, or you would like to learn a new language before you take a vacation abroad, or you want to "brush up" on math so you can help your children with their homework. For many of us school and/or learning were not pleasant experiences, so we may hesitate to attempt to learn something new. Fortunately there are ways to enhance the learning experience to help make learning fun, easy, and successful. (This process works for kids too.)

"Accelerated Learning" is a system based on studies of the human mind and how knowledge is acquired. It is a powerful process that engages both the analytical and the emotional parts of the brain and uses both the conscious and the subconscious mind. The body is important to learning as well. Many of us need movement to learn. We also need to take into consideration our learning styles and our multiple intelligences. One of the important components of Accelerated Learning is the use of music.

Although any music can have an effect on your mind and body, there are particular types of music that can enhance learning, just as there are certain kinds of music that can interfere with learning. The founder of the Accelerated Learning movement, Dr. Georgi Lozanov, experimented with a wide variety of music in his research. He found that Baroque music affects the emotional centers of the brain as well as the heart and breathing. Today there are a number of composers who have designed music to enhance our learning abilities. I use both Baroque music and the specially designed music in all the classes I teach. At the end of this article there is a list of music that my students prefer.

This is by no means a complete list. Experiment to find out what suites you. One of the most important considerations is that the background music does not have words that you might sing consciously (or unconsciously), as that would interfere with information acquisition. You can use highly rhythmic music as a base for creating rhymes or raps or jingles to help you memorize lists or processes.

Preparation for learning is another key component of Accelerated Learning. There are several things you can do to assist your body and mind to get into a receptive state for learning. In addition to your traditional learning tools (books, computer program, paper, pens, etc.) you will need a cassette or CD player and your "learning" music in your learning space. If you prefer comfort to learn, you might choose an easy chair, if you need structure, a desk or a table would be better for you.

Before you open your book, or start your program, spend a few minutes getting ready to learn. Since an ideal state for learning is in a relaxed body with an alert mind, do a brief relaxation exercise with the music in the background. Then bring to mind a successful learning experience that you have had in the past - any kind of learning. Try to re-create the joy and pleasure you felt while you were learning and the satisfaction you felt when you succeeded.

After spending a few moments in this pleasant experience, begin your current learning experience. If you find that you start to tense up, pause, take a few deep breaths, listen to the music for a few moments, and resume learning. Take frequent breaks and briefly review what you have learned when you return.

Some Baroque selections include Handel's Water Music, Vivaldi's Four Seasons, Pachebel's Canon in D Major and Mozart's Symphony in D Major ("Haffner"). OptimaLearning has created several volumes of specially compiled Baroque music for learning and productivity. The Sound Health Series by the Center for Psychoacoustical Research includes classical music for learning, concentration, thinking, motivation, inspiration, and relaxation.

Some of the specially created music by Stephen Halpern has subliminal messages, but you can find his Music for Accelerated Learning and Music for Creativity without subliminals. He has a variety of relaxing CDs as well. Daniel Kobialka uses Pachelbel's Canon in his composition Timeless Motion and it is my personal favorite.

So, use music, relaxation, and positive visualization to make learning easier and more fun.

By Lorna Minewiser Ph.D

Let the Seeds Grow

The thought that every great thing that has ever happened, been spoken or invented began first with a single idea is not a new one, but one I don't think many people have taken to heart.

I find that many people are constantly getting ideas. That is their mind is producing many new thoughts on a regular basis. This is incredible because that means that the seeds for great things are right there in the soil of our minds and hearts.

Unfortunately, we all too often do not let those seeds grow.

Instead we dismiss the idea.

We will never know, but I wonder who it was that first thought of the light bulb, but dismissed the idea. I wonder who it was that first saw the automobile in his or her mind's eye, but dismissed the idea. Who was it that thought up the way to run computers but allowed the seed to slip away?

Let these seeds grow! Do not dismiss any idea as a bad one immediately. Write your ideas down. Look at them for a week or a year. Brew over them. Consider them. Let them GROW. In the end you may need to dismiss them, but not before you give them a chance to grow into something incredible that may change your life, your family, your business, your community or your world. If you let your ideas grow, you will surely see many great things happen in your life.

Let your seeds of ideas grow - see what they may become!


By Chris Widener

Can We Change People?

There was a class of "challenged" children and many teachers were brought in over time but each one ended up quitting in frustration. Finally, a teacher was brought in and a miracle happened. That class of students ended up becoming a group of happy, well- behaved and good students. What happened?

From the time that teacher entered the classroom, she refused to see the children as they appeared to others. She saw through and beyond appearances. She instead saw in her mind's eye each student as a well-behaved, perfect student. She saw only their potential and perfection and they became exactly as she envisioned.



We Can Change Our Perception

Part of my teaching is that you cannot change people. What you can do is change your perception of them. When you envision them as you want them to be, in their happy and best state, they pick this up and respond on a subconscious level. In my own life, I have used this principle to great advantage. I would imagine someone being receptive and in my mind's eye see them harmonizing with me. I would imagine them being happy or pleased or whatever and "hear" them expressing what I would like to hear. Of course, we only want to envision the highest and the best for someone. We don't impose our will on someone else, but we can lift them in consciousness to their own highest good by maintaining that image in our thoughts and feelings. This releases the other person and allows adjustments to be made on a mental and spiritual level. Releasing is powerful. When we loose and let go, amazing things happen. There will either be a noticeable change in the person or that person will peacefully move out of our lives if they are not supposed to be there for our highest good.

Remember this principle? It is our job to see and feel the end result. It is the Universe's job to get us there.



You Might Be Surprised

I have had students apply this principle and see changes in their spouses, friends, and others. Don't laugh, but I have even used this on inanimate objects and it worked! The answers come when we loosen up.

Like it or not, we are greatly influenced and can become as others see us (and "feel" us). We do pick up their thoughts subconsciously. In the area of marketing, we must make the effort to project to others what we desire to project - as this determines the feedback and results we get - or else we will subconsciously respond to their ideas about us. This carries over into our personal lives. I have seen people who could not move forward because of the image of them held by those close to them. It took concerted effort to shift their consciousness beyond what others thought and finally succeed. And then there is the opposite. Many have succeeded because someone else believed in them and saw a greater potential than they saw for themselves.



Try It... You'll Like It

Wouldn't it be an interesting experiment to change our perceptions about a difficult person in our business life - a client, partner, co-worker, boss - or in our personal life - a spouse, partner, relative, child - and see what happens?

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain to put this principle into practice and see what happens. Instead of imaging things as they are, which I am sorry to say will only perpetuate more of the same, start imaging the person or situation as you want them to be.

Give thanks for the end result. Use the powerful gratitude principle combined with affirmative prayer to turn those very situations around by expressing gratitude for the solutions before they appear. Bringing the desired result into the "now" moment by using the gratitude principle speeds our desired good to us.

By Marilyn Jenett

I Just Want to be Free - I Just Want to be Me!

It was a sunny Saturday in April 2003 in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The Carolina-blue sky seemed to kiss the wavy waters as the gentle wind embraced the beach. After enjoying the beach for a while with my 16-year old daughter and husband, one by one, they ventured off to find a spot on the beach away from the water.

I stood close to the water barely wetting my feet and totally mesmerized by God's awesome creation. The voices of the beach-goers gradually faded as the sounds of the wind, the waves, and the seagulls emerged.

Suddenly, my attention was diverted as I noticed how my son and nephew were totally immersed in the moment. Challenging the sand that seemed to capture their feet with every enormous wave, they went from only getting wet from the legs down, to being totally drenched from head to toe. Forgetting about the hunger that occupied their every thought moments ago, they were simply enjoying the moment to be free -- to be free to be who they were.

As I stood there watching and smiling, my smiled turned to laughter as my eyes filled with tears at the unexpected experience of enjoying the same spellbound freedom that they were enjoying. I thought about life, and the choice that I have to be free. Then I thought about how countless of individuals are held captive in daily routines, never taking one moment out of the day to just be - to just be free.

After a while, knowing that this moment must end, I motioned the boys to come on to leave. They yelled, "Just one more time!" "Okay," I said, as I stood full of laughter and tears in my eyes, experiencing my moment of freedom -- as they freely enjoyed their moment without limitations. "One more time," they yelled repeatedly. "Okay, just one more time, " I repeatedly yelled back, until that moment finally did end.

My son and nephew will never realize how their expression of freedom evoked a renewed freedom within me in that moment, on that fine April day. The freedom of knowing that at any time I choose, I can be free to just be me -- just as I did that day. I will never let that moment, that experience, or that choice go.

What an experience it is to be free - to be free to just be me, without self-limitations, or the limitations of others.

What actions must you take to experience your true freedom today?

At any moment that you choose, you too can be free -- to just be -- who you are.

Think about it, experience it, live it, and never let it go!

-------------------------

Copyright 2003 by Audrina Jones Bunton. REPRINTING THIS ARTICLE: Permission is granted to reproduce or distribute this article only in its entirety and provided copyright is acknowledged. You can find other articles to choose from at http://www.purposefully-living.com/mailing%20list.htm

Motivational Speaker, Audrina Jones Bunton was born the seventh of eight children in her household in Pinehurst, North Carolina into a loving and committed Christian home. As she has 2 children, over 40 nieces and nephews and great- nieces and nephews, it is not unusual to find her under the same roof with many of her maternal five-generation family on weekends and on holidays. In her youth, she fondly recalls traveling throughout the U.S. with her family, as her parents ministered from state to state year after year-helping people as they traveled.

A graduate from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, with a Bachelor's degree in Sociology, Audrina is a Competent Toastmaster of Toastmasters International and serves as the North Carolina District Sergeant At Arms. She is a former counselor of the Durham Pregnancy Support Services, a Christian-oriented crisis pregnancy center in Durham, North Carolina and is currently a Social Research Assistant at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Audrina is currently studying at the Master's Divinity School in Evansville, Indiana with a combined concentration in Biblical Counseling and IABC certification.

She also serves as the Youth Director at the Come As You Are Evangelistic Center in Aberdeen, North Carolina where her mother, Lydia Jones is the pastor.

Modeling after a song that her mother so often sings, and one that Martin Luther King, Jr. often quoted, her life and speeches are based on the following lyrics, "If I can help somebody as I pass along, If I can cheer somebody with a word or song, If I can show somebody he's traveling wrong, Then my living will not be in vain."

Audrina resides with her husband William, and 2 children, Audrina Lorraine and William Woodrow.

Starving for Intimacy

Some are seeking love in a bottle. Others look for it on the streets and many are trying to find it in their food.

Most of our food is grown on acres of land, sprayed by airplanes, cut by machines, moved by trucks or boats to plants automated to grind, package and ship. It is sent to stores where in bright colored wrappers; we are sold by seduction the richness of this product. We take it home open the can, package or jar one at a time to "feed" ourselves and maybe our family. The goal is often speed as we have or have had other obligations in the day. TV may be our entertainment as we consume this meal intended to nurture us.

This food is also sold to a distribution plant where it is sent to food chains across the country to feed a growing segment of the population. They take the food, mix it to their formula in large vats, package it in measured amounts, ship it by trucks to their outlets to be prepared quickly by workers for their breakfast lunch and dinner crowds. In these restaurants or at drive thru windows food is dispersed in plastics or paper with speed as the goal so each of us can meet deadlines, time limits and multiple obligations. Some of us eat in our cars as we drive to other destinations or eat at our desk. What would happen if each day we had a pause in the day's occupation as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said in his poem The Children's Hour

Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day's occupations,
That is known as the Children's Hour.

Every day we hear on TV or read in newspapers and magazines of this new disease - obesity impacting all ages, cultures and communities. Is it any wonder for we are starving for intimacy and are trying to feed that need.

There is a growing market these days for organic and slow cooking and is it any wonder. We are coming to the realization of how to meet our needs as we feed ourselves each day.. Organic farmers know their soil is the foundation for their crop production. They have prepared it to meet the needs of each seed they plant. They walk their fields observing the soils' needs and the challenges and the requirements of each crop The food may be picked by family or they will run the machines. Their cows or chickens may have names and they raise their family in this true home-based business. This food is usually sold at a farmers market or sent to the co-op or health food stores who buy from regional suppliers. The food bought this way is taken home and prepared as a meal served at the table feeding one or a large number as they gather to share and laugh together.

There is a growing trend with chefs to buy from these farmers and they often ask for specialty foods for their demanding customers. These customers are people who dine out in a relaxed atmosphere and get fed food prepared by inspired hands.

We can find a similar commitment to feed their customers in the Mom and Pop restaurants. They may specialize in grits and eggs or chili and stews and they prepare it from their recipes and often times with food from local sources.

There is a saying "A bitter cook bakes a bitter bread". Is it then not true there is a missing link in our food chain; that of caring. Caring for the food that feeds us. Caring for the food as it is prepared. Is love not the missing ingredient in much of our food supply today. Is that not why many of us are staring for intimacy. Would not love in growing, love in preparing and joy in eating change the way we look and feel. Food, in order to feed our body and our souls must be grown, prepared and eaten with an intention of caring, of love.

Sophia Loren said the most vital ingredient in any recipe is love. Would it not be wise to add love to every dish we make, serve and eat. Save some of those candy hearts and serve them with each meal as a reminder of the love in your food and the joy in your life. I think it might be the best diet you will find for the next year.

By Susan Bacon Trumpfheller

Improve Your Small Talk - Gain Big Dividends!

Do you hate to make small talk? If so, you have lots of company.

You may find small talk irritating, predictable, mind-numbingly boring.

Yet, learning to play the small talk game can have lots of good benefits. You will have a much better chance of succeeding in making new friends, and advancing in your career if you can master the major art of making small talk.

Small talk is the name commonly given to the fairly predictable superficial chatter that makes up a large portion of our social encounters. Neighbors chatting over the fence, strangers speaking to each other in a grocery line, or workers talking at an office party will often engage in the exchange of fairly ritual, routine observations, comments and questions. Often there is no intent by either party to take the conversation to a deeper level.

Most of the comments and questions tend to be of a fairly trivial sort. For example, a person might say, "I wonder when this heat wave will ever end," or "That's a nice dress, where did you get it?" Other typical small talk dialogue might include basic questions like, "What do you do?" Or "How long have you lived in this neighborhood"?

Small talk often has a bad name. Many people dislike small talk, precisely because it is so mundane and trivial and predictable. It rarely touches on anything important. It does not lead you deeply into the soul of another. It is conservative and safe. You do not discuss really serious issues like world hunger, or the meaning of life, or the results of a recent scientific breakthrough.

People who are very intellectual or very shy, and those who are socially rebellious, are often unable or unwilling to engage in this sort of chatter, which they consider meaningless and trite. They long instead to have only intense, meaningful, and soulful exchanges about important matters.

If this is true of you, if you have had nothing but contempt for the very existence of small talk, if you look down with disdain on all who engage in it, it is time to consider revising your opinion. Small talk, however despicable, however cliché, has an important role to play in initiating, developing, and deepening social connections with other human beings.

Think of small talk as the oil that lubricates the wheels of social interaction. If you see a person regularly, you can use small talk as a way to gradually learn more about each other. Small talk gives people a low-key, non-threatening way to exchange very basic bits of information with each other. Through these very tiny, safe, and cliché exchanges that each person offers the other, you can find out what interests you have in common, and whether or not you like the character of the other person.

A complete inability or refusal to engage in small talk can severely limit the overall number of social relationships you develop. Refusing to engage in some form of small talk will send out the signal that you are not a friendly person, or that you think you are too good to talk with others.

On the other hand, the more often you engage in small talk encounters with others, the more likely it is that you will find people who want to move on to discuss some of the topics that are of more importance to you.

Instead of refusing to play the small talk "game", why not really make a game out of it? Decide to practice small talk strictly for fun and give yourself points for starting it and keeping it going. Think of small talk as a skill you can develop, and practice working to become better at it. Do it everywhere, and do it often.

Becoming good at small talk will eventually pay off and give you even more opportunities to talk about those things that really matter to you. You can actually learn to enjoy the light hearted, low key, small talk process, and you may end up liking many of the other people you meet along the way!

This article is taken from the downloadable book by Royane Real titled "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want - Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends"

Imagination

Imagination is the unreal, real state of mind, where all things are experienced as real. Imagination is powerful and is an intermediary step between thought and word. Thoughts are experienced in the imagination before they are manifested into physical reality.

As important as this step is in the process of creating, it is the least explored on a conscious level. It is the easiest step to move into from our conscious state and can be accessed at will. Just close your eyes and start imagining. From our earliest awareness, our parents both encourage and discourage us from being in this creative condition, because they know how powerful it is. Powerful imaginations can be intoxicating.

We are often told that we are imagining things. This statement is so close to the absolute truth. What we create, all the circumstances of our life, is being imagined. There is nothing else that we could be doing.

All that we seek to be, or have, will first be developed in our imagination. Mankind does not yet fully understand the value of the imagination. Yet those that have an awareness of it's function, us it successfully. There have never been truer statements than, "you're only limited by your imagination," "imagine it," let your imagination run wild. It truly is the creative state.

Sometimes distinctions between what are real and what is imagination is blurred, because imagination is so close to our conscious reality. All things in imagination are experienced in the state as real. The imagination can also be manipulated from the conscious state. It is more like a waking dream, that that is fully interactive.

Imagination is a safe zone, a holodeck, which we enter for all kinds of reasons, it's practical and recreational. It is a tool that works on demand and has unlimited resources. It's a perfect testing ground were problems can be worked out and we can create anything that we can imagine. We build models in our imagination in preparation for creation into the physical realm. All of our thoughts can be explored and examined. Working through imagination is the best way to experience having or doing a thing before it is made manifest.

The fastest way to get what you desire is to know that you already have it. Imagination facilitates, that knowingness, because you actually experience it in this dream like state, and adjustments can be made to customize the results.

Try this. Picture a brand new car in your mind. What ever colour it is now, change the colour. Change the car from 4 doors to 2. Imagine it with different wheels, four shiny chrome wheels. Notice how easily it is to change the image. Now imagine sitting in the driver's seat. Notice the dash and all the instrumentation, and then become aware of your friends in the car and who they are.

These are powerful images, and they are experienced as reality at the time. The more you dwell on them, the more likely you will manifest your vision into actuality.

You can experience your imagination, without restriction from old belief systems, guilt, morality, punishment, condemnation, justification or anything else. It's your safe haven, where no one can enter. It is truly the only place that you can be alone with your thoughts. Imagine that! You are free from physical bonds or limitations. You can fly for as long and as high as you want. You can crash, burn, barn storm, or land safely, without fear.

The imagination is real and very compelling, it can be addicting, but always it is a safe place to be. We often choose only to experience very private matters in our imagination and choose not to make them fully manifest. Moving into the realm of the imagination is not to be feared, but anticipated with awe and wild abandonment. Fear not the power you possess. Develop your imagination, exercise it, and use it effectively to manifest the physical things that you desire in your life. Imagine the life that your really want and begin to live it.

In your spare moments each day, take some time to visit your imagination and envision what you desire that day and the next. Repeat those visions and they will become your new reality.

By Roy E. Klienwachter

Set Yourself Up for Success!

Set Yourself Up For Success!
~ By Fran Briggs

Here's a great way to program and set yourself up for success in advance. It is one of many of what I call, New Empowering Habit Plans (TM). A New Empowering Habit Plan is a formula for achieving success in any given area of your life. It requires a minimum of 21 consecutive days of implementation. Why 21 days? Because research by behavioral scientists and "Mothers of five" has proved that it takes at least 21 days to establish a habit.

This NEHP starts with taking the first 15-30 minutes before you get out of bed to plan and visualize your successful day on paper. Remember we agreed that it takes at least 21 consecutive days to establish a habit? Commit to do this NEHP for at least 21 consecutive days.

What if you were to develop a fun and exciting New Empowering Habit Plan taking just a few minutes every day to plan and visualize your successful day on paper? In doing so, you would be able to project any obstacles or consequences. More importantly, you could construct and program your success. With this invaluable information, you could literally set yourself up for success by planning and seeing the future in advance.

"Exactly How do I do this?"
One of the exciting things about this NEHP is that it is not an "exact science." In fact, it's not a science at all. Consider it uniquely yours. It can be as simple as keeping a pen, pencil, notebook or note pad by your bed. As soon as you wake up, grab your writng/drawing utensil. Then, you might want to close your eyes as you meditate, pray or regain your faculties (if your not a morning person). I suggest you take a couple minutes and literally run your entire day in your mind. Visualize; really see yourself, succeeding ... all day long.

Win, Write Or Draw!
Now, open your eyes and begin doing your day on paper. The real magic of this NEHP lies in the power you manifest when you put pen/pencil to paper. This has been long proven to amend our thinking. Why not make a point to amend for great thinking? I'm not going to get into that right side brain/left side brain stuff. I'll keep it simple and say ... you will win, when you write, draw or combine the two, to construct and program your successful day.

Be very clear and put your appointments to succeed in chronological order. Cultivate an unshakable expectation to succeed. Put magic into the mundane! For example, in your 9:00 a.m. slot where you would normally anticipate contact with an obnoxious supervisor, draw them with a smile as she tells you your being promoted. Zoom in on the smiles, pleasant demeanors and positive energy you both exchange. Or, maybe you feel more comfortable writing a mini-goal or powerful positive affirmation at least ten times. Really believe it. In your 7:20 p.m. slot, you may write down: "I go 4 for 4 and play a flawless left field tonight." Once you are crystal-clear on how you are going to set yourself up for success, you reaffirm your ability to make it happen.

WARNING: You May Get More Than You Project!
It's said that long before Jim Carrey made it BIG, and before he even appeared on "In Living Color," he walked up to the Hollywood Hills one day. There, he wrote a check to himself, and put it in his wallet. The amount on the check was for ten million dollars. In the memo he wrote in, "For services rendered." Today as most of you already know, Jim Carrey makes a minimum of twenty-million dollars per film.

In February, 2003, I wrote down on paper that I would sell my house in three weeks for $280,000. The new owners would be first-time homeowners-not investors. My house sold in 11 days and for 19 thousand dollars more than the asking price. The new owners are a happy family of three and are very happy in their first home.

I have two great friends who (seemingly) have the ability to win jackpots at will using this NEHP. But this particular New Empowering Habit Plan is not just "all about the money." It has much more power than that. I've manifested, fulfilling, loving and meaningful relationships; world-wide publications; vacations; empowering strongholds; businesses, 4 for 4 flawless defense softball games and just plain fun! I sincerely believe you can too!

To Your Success!

By Fran Briggs

Color Your Life

Have you ever arrived at place in your career and wondered how you got there? Have you found yourself stuck, not liking your job, yet not seeing how you can change after investing 15 years at it. Let's take a different perspective and see if you can solve your dilemma through this colorful full spectrum exploration of job and career.

Think back to when you began working. You looked at options and explored different ways to make money soon, you may have transitioned into a new career as a way to create a lifestyle change or to remodel your work life. This move expresses power and taking charge. It is strength and energy, and the color is red, the base chakra. It doesn't matter if you found yourself a corporate job or built your own business. You are inspired and motivated.

Your career move brings networking meetings, web sites and all the social issues. You contact buddies or former business associates to promote your business. If in a corporation you meet your co-workers and the leaders. It is stimulating, social and the color is orange, the second chakra.

At this point your career is a craft based on a set of skills or a model. You work based on memorized processes or protocol. You work from your left brain.. This is the third chakra, and the color is yellow. Your experiences are formalized, routine. Some people stay here, feeling the strong hold of golden handcuffs.

Others naturally transition to the next level, the heart center. You link to an evolving growth cycle both for yourself and your work. Perhaps, like so many people these days, you began your career at a very young age, tinkering in your garage, participating in Junior Achievement, or selling lemonade. You work with a passion, a mission. Your training comes from this place and you learn the techniques and lingo of your career path.

Do you move back to the heart after your training? You never leave this heart center, for that is who you are. The color is green for balance and you give it your all, from your place of authenticity. This is the fourth chakra.

Your next transition may be the most difficult, for this is where you express who you are and what you do. And where routine trips up many. At this level you integrate your job into a career and into your body, losing the memorized skills. You are "in flow" as you meet new people, change companies and encounter new opportunities. Life becomes an art form. This is the fifth chakra, blue, and it is the throat or communication center. As you speak from this place, you begin to experience the law of attraction. This is where you clarify or redefine intentions based on who and what you want to attract and how you want your career or business to expand.

Your next shift is integrating your intentions into your inner knowing, the intuitive self, so real flow can begin. You assume leadership roles. You work with the intuitive voice, let go of ego, the need to be right and bring in fresh ideas through synchronicity. This is the sixth chakra, indigo, also called the third eye. It is the center from which shamans and healers work.

This could be your last step, for this brings you to the spiritual level -- a vital step in the big picture. It is where, through your work, you connect to the Divine in all things and you become aware of your impact on others' environments. You connect with yourself in a different way. You experience integration of your life on all levels. Here is where balance really begins. It is the place where you experience the "Big AH HA". This is when things become mystical. It is the crown, or seventh chakra, and the color is violet. For you this may be the "be all and end all".

I believe, however, that there is a next and final step. It is here where you can get off track again. It is also here where you are free to express who you are to the world. You reach a place of trust and knowing, and your career and life become an art form you have finely crafted. It resonates in your body, in your mind, and you move freely in this knowledge. It is where you walk your talk, and paint, write, design a house or build a boat. It is a place of freedom, and it is not age or retirement related.

It is here where you bring the strength and power of your base chakra, red, and blend it with your crown chakra of violet so that your spirit speaks from deep within your being. This blended color is magenta, the auric color, which becomes your magical, mystical attractor. It is where you express your uniqueness and become grounded to your being in your heart. You may wonder why there are so many in business with a "poor me" attitude. From my vantage point, this comes when people are working from the lower chakras and are experiencing fear, lack and competition. No matter if you are an entrepreneur or an employee, you have the power to move beyond the "poor me" place. To vitalize, color and reshape your world, step aside for a moment, walk around and reflect on where you stand in the world of business. Better yet visualize where you stand in the world.

Look back on these eight levels and examine where you stand today. Where have you been in the past and to where are you moving your career and your life today? Take your time, for these are growth steps. These concepts may be a bit edgy, unique, and certainly out of the box. May you find your place on the edge too.

By Susan "Sue" Bacon Trumpfheller

Peace Alliance vs. Fighting a Battle

We read in the press about the "War on Drugs" and the "Battle of the Bulge". Television tells us to fight the flu, legal battles or the war in Haiti. Our doctors tell us we are fighting cancer or in a battle with obesity.

These messages leave us in a continuous struggle to survive. Bacteria are smart as they mutate two generations ahead of the latest antibiotic. Bugs and weeds adapt to the latest herbicide or pesticide, and now we have several generations of these toxins changing our landscape and our animals. Governments create laws to prevent fraud and deception, and the courthouses are overbooked.

Who is winning these wars? Is there an end to the battles? In our constant struggle to survive, we are not making headway. I wonder why. I wonder and I ponder, what would happen if we stopped fighting the bacteria. What if we allowed it a place to survive -- a place where it was safe and no longer had to mutate? What if we no longer had a war on drugs or the battle of the bulge? Can we imagine such a world? We know it works, for some have chosen to assign areas of their garden for ants and gophers while the remainder was designated for crops to flourish. In this scenario bees move to different hives and weeds become indicators of nutritional deficiencies. Bark beetles show up to reduce weak, dying trees back to the forest floor to provide food for the next generation of trees.

With these systems working around the world, how can we develop systems to follow similar paths? Why is there the battle of the bulge? Why do we need the war on drugs? Are these "wars" really an indicator of something missing in the diet, the home or other areas of our lives? What do we need to flourish and live drug free? We are fighting the results of something missing rather than identifying what is missing! The first step in changing our paradigm is to know it is possible to stop fighting. We need to believe from deep within our being that the battle is over. It is in that shift that we come to know or discover our place of peace. In this place, we no longer have an outside enemy like the weeds, pests or "fat". We find the missing pieces, the messages they bring. Our soil many need lime, our trees may need water, and our bodies and lives may need love.

It is a concept I call the Peace Alliance. In the spirit of peace exploration, I have worked on myself and with some of my clients and projects. The support has been unusual on many levels, and we are making progress. Stay tuned for more on this topic. © 2004 Sue Trumpfheller

By Susan "Sue" Bacon Trumpfheller

Is Mans Next Step Like A Can of Potted Meat?

Is it the dawning of the Age of Aquarius? For years, predictions have indicated that humanity is readying itself for a golden age, a so called new age that is right around the corner just waiting to roll in. According to these forecasts, the air we breath will be clean and our environment pure. Hunger, starvation and disease will be eliminated. Most importantly, we will finally experience the peace and harmony we all desire and we will live in the spirit of brotherly love.

I too long for these events to take place, however, the reality that currently exists on our planet is very different and the choices we are making are sending us down a road that does not lead to salvation.

When I think about where we are going and how we are getting there, it can be likened to a can of potted meat. For those of you that are unfamiliar with potted meat, it is a canned meat product that is found next to the Spam and Vienna sausages at the supermarket. Its primary ingredients include cooked beef fatty tissue, beef hearts, beef tripe, cooked pork fatty tissue and mechanically separated chicken. These tasty morsels are ground up into a paste-like consistency, mixed with lots of salt and chemicals, canned and sold for human consumption.

I'm sure by now your mouth is watering and you just can't wait to sink your teeth into a forkful of this tempting delicacy. And while I make this comment in jest, the reality is that three major food manufacturers fight for shelf space at the supermarket each hoping to capture the potted meat market. The saddest or should I say scariest part of the saga is the fact that people buy it! It isn't as if only one or two people get the urge to munch down on some good ol' potted meat, there are thousands if not millions of people around the country why buy it, creating enough value, based on sales, to keep it on the shelf.

By now I know you're wondering what potted meat has to do with our next step, but it has everything to do with it. Take a moment and look around. Every day, our air grows increasingly worse. Obesity in children is running rampant. The amount and quality of real, wholesome foods on the shelves at supermarkets are being overrun by prepackaged preprocessed chemically laden ones. We fear for our safety, distrust our neighbors and hide in our hearts and in our homes. And like the potted meat, even though we don't really like it and know it isn't good for us, we buy it anyway.

Let's face it folks, we live in a chaotic world and in our haste we look for the easy answer. We let big business and big brother decide what we want, what we need and how much we can put up with. We've allowed the air we breathe, the foods we eat and the things we do to poison us and like pigs going to slaughter we do nothing about it, except perhaps complain.

Instead of working to bring in this new and golden age, many of us are sitting around waiting for it to show up. There are some who believe that if we pray hard enough, hope deeply enough or say enough affirmations that things will somehow magically change without any effort on our part.

There are others who believe that it can only be achieved after a major calamity falls upon the earth recreating balance in the imbalanced world in which we live. That it is only through the workings of karma that a profound shift can ever be achieved.

So how can we create this better world? The first step is it needs to become our number one priority. We must decide it is of utmost importance to us and let money, greed and personal gain take a back seat. It necessitates a change in consciousness from "what do I want" to "what do WE need". Until there is a dramatic transformation in the hearts and minds of man, the goal of a new world, while a nice thought is unachievable.

Unfortunately, many of us have chosen to stand on the sidelines and wait for the tide of personal and planetary changes to occur around us. However, it is not until we stand as a unified whole and demand that change take place that anything will happen at all.

Is it going to be hard? Damn right it's going to be hard. Tom Hanks in the movie A League of Their Own stated: "If it was easy, everyone would do it. The hard?is what makes it great". Remember change doesn't happen by hope or by prayer alone, it requires action. So take a stand, make a decision, let your voice be heard, your greatness shine. Don't let karma rear its ugly head. Just say no to potted meat and choose to bring in the future you desire.


By Dr. Rita Louise, PhD

What is NLP?

NLP Explained.....

NLP is the study of how people organise their thinking, feeling, language and behaviour to produce the results they do. The co-creators' of NLP, John Grinder & Richard Bandler had an insatiable desire to discover and replicate the structure of excellent performers' behavioural patterns and teach others to do the same, short circuiting the years of development and learning of the experts. This process is called modelling and is central to NLP. They called their work Neuro Linguistic Programming which is about understanding the structure of how the human nervous system (neuro) transforms data received through the 5 senses into mental descriptions (linguistic) and then unconscious behaviour (programming)." With NLP, you have a model for understanding the unconscious thinking processes that drive behaviour. This has two enormous benefits, firstly you can easily learn to do what others are doing well, and model it. Secondly you can identify the limiting patterns in yourself and others and use NLP patterning to move on.

Modelling is at the centre of much of NLP, then there are the patterns and techniques which originate from the modelling projects. NLP patterns are a synthesis of powerful change interventions, language models, and behavioural designs based on self-improvement and achieving excellence. The NLP patterns have been modelled from geniuses who were getting amazing results working in the field of psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy. Grinder and Bandler had little prior knowledge of this field yet soon found that they too could get equally amazing results as the people they modelled in a fraction of the time. They ran courses, and other people found by applying the patterning they could also get amazing results. The patterning grew into modern day NLP with new modelling projects stimulating new patterns and techniques over the years.

Formal Definition of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Neuro refers to our nervous system/mind and how it processes information and codes it as memory inside our very body/neurology. By neuro we refer to experience as inputted, processed, and ordered by our neurological mechanisms and processes.

Linguistic indicates that the neural processes of the mind come coded, ordered, and given meaning through language, communication systems, and various symbolic systems (grammar, mathematics, music, icons).

Programming refers to our ability to organise our sensory-based information (sights, sounds, sensations, smells, tastes, and symbols or words) within our mind-body organism which then enables us to achieve our desired outcomes.

Taking control of one's own mind describes the heart of NLP. NLP has become famous for the techniques it offers to bring about effective and lasting change. For example, NLP has a technique called The Fast Phobia Cure developed by Richard Bandler. Using this this technique, NLP can cure a phobia in a very short period of time (often in 10-15 minutes). We have used the procedure to cure phobias of water, bees, lifts, heights, public speaking, small places, aeroplanes, etc. The fast phobia cure represents just one of many techniques for such change.

We have used a technique called Time-Line Processes to remove traumatic pictures from the minds of traumatised people. Additionally, we often use certain NLP techniques conversationally, which means that we do not have to use these techniques in an overtly "therapeutic" way.

What is NLP?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) explores the inner workings of the human mind; how we think, how we develop our desires, goals and fears and how we motivate ourselves, make connections, and give meaning to our experiences. NLP presents specific skills and patterns necessary to make positive changes, create new choices, be more effective with others, break free of old habits, self-destructive patterns and behaviours, and think more clearly about what it is we want and how to get it.

NLP is the study of the structure of subjective experience - The relationship between the mind, language, emotions and patterns of behaviour. It is a psychology of interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligence and communication.

NLP is a fairly recent development, originating at the University of Santa Cruz in the mid-seventies when a group of talented people (namely, the afore mentioned Richard Bandler & John Grinder) came together to share information and insights across disciplinary boundaries. It incorporates insights from behavioural and Gestalt psychology, family therapy, hypnotherapy, linguistics, information theory and anthropology among many other disciplines.

Unlike other schools of psychotherapeutic thought, which concentrate on how problems arise, NLP started from studying people who are exceptionally good at what they do, and finding out how they do it so that anyone can get similar results by doing the same things. It aims to move beyond remedial change (fixing specific problems) to "generative" change, which empowers you to achieve more in every area of your life.

Often people find that when they learn a new skill or make a breakthrough in one area of their life, problems seem to disappear or seem less important.

NLP In A Nutshell

To be successful you only need to remember three things;

Know what you want; have a clear idea of your desired outcome in any situation.
Be alert and keep your senses open (sensory acuity) so that you notice what you're getting.
Have the flexibility to go on changing what you do until you get what you want
. If you go on doing what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got.

Some Principles of NLP

All experiences are subjective - we respond to our internal representation of events, not to the events themselves

Each person is unique and uniquely valuable

Everyone has all the resources they need for success - there are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states

Everyone makes the best choice available to them at the time

Behind every behaviour is a positive intention

There is no failure, only feedback

A persons behaviour is not the person

The meaning of a communication is the response you get

Mind and body are part of the same system

Experience has a structure - change the structure and you change the experience

I am in charge of my mind and therefore my results

The History of NLP

"NLP is an attitude and a methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques." - Richard Bandler

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) represents a relatively new discipline dating back only to the mid-70s. Behind NLP stands a respectable body of knowledge. NLP originated from several different intellectual disciplines as organised by two co-founders - Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

It happened once upon a time when Dr Grinder served as a professor of linguistics at the University of California in Santa Cruz. Bandler came there as a student to study mathematics and computers. Dr Grinder, in fact, had already published several books in the field of linguistics known as Transformational Grammar.

Bandler discovered he had a natural gift for modelling and hearing patterns. He discovered he could detect and replicate patterns in Gestalt Therapy (a form of psychotherapy) from minimum exposure. He became an editor for several of Fritz Perls' books in Gestalt therapy. Being familiar with Perls' work, Bandler began to study Perls' techniques. As he discovered that he could model Perls' therapeutic procedures, he began experimenting with clients using the techniques.

After enjoying immediate and powerful results from that modelling, Richard discovered that he could model others. With the encouragement of Grinder, Bandler got the opportunity to model the world's foremost family therapist, Virginia Satir. Richard quickly identified the "seven patterns" that Virginia used. As he and John began to apply those patterns, they discovered they could replicate her therapies and obtain similar results.

As a computer programmer, Richard knew that to program the simplest "mind" in the world (a computer with on and off switches) you break down the behaviour into component pieces and provide clear and unambiguous signals to the system. To this basic metaphor, John added his extensive knowledge of transformational grammar. From transformational grammar we borrow the concepts of deep and surface structure statements that transform meaning/knowledge in the human brain. From this they began to put together their model of how humans get "programmed," so to speak.

Thereafter, world-renowned anthropologist Gregory Bateson introduced Bandler and Grinder to Milton Erickson, MD. Erickson developed the model of communication that we know as "Ericksonian Hypnosis." Since 1958, the American Medical Association has recognised hypnosis as a useful healing tool during surgery. As Bandler and Grinder modelled Erickson, they discovered they could obtain similar results. Today many of the NLP techniques result from modelling Ericksonian processes.

From these experiences and their research into the unifying factors and principles, Bandler and Grinder devised their first model. It essentially functioned as a model of communication that provided a theoretic understanding of how we get "programmed" by languages (sensory-based and linguistic-based) so that we develop regular and systematic behaviours, responses, psychomatic effects etc. This model went further. It also specified ways for using the components of subjectivity for creating psychological improvement and change.

From that point, NLP expanded. The model expanded by incorporating material from other disciplines: cybernetics (communication within complex systems both mechanical and living), philosophy, cognitive psychology, studies of the "unconscious" mind, and neurology. Today, NLP has institutes worldwide and numerous authors have applied NLP to medicine and health, therapy and psychological well-being, business, education, athletics, law, Christian ministry, and more.

By Adam Eason

What Dreams Will Come!

As the pioneers of aviation took to the air (not skies), in their human powered mechanical contraptions, what must have been said and thought?

Complicated pulleys and chain systems enclosing a lunatic, perhaps!

Or overly optimistic cyclists with designs above their head, even.

Yet they left us with the beginnings of international and inter-planetary travel, its' destinations, physical and figurative.

What of the scientists and chemists, self-sent to the grave through misadventure and experiment?

And their journals, which were and are hard copy legacies unbound by the limiting confines of the grave? Something was learned, in the big picture!

A spark of madness, as it seemed, was the ignition source for technological explosions.

Original computer models had lighting sequences, which was something, but couldn't have evolved without enthusiasm, imagination, finance and time, into what it is today. At that point in history, it couldn't have happened elsewhere on the planet, in the same way and speed. The formula for advancement would have been incomplete. Indeed, it couldn't have happened at that rate, without mass optimism and lots of people pulling in the same direction.

You see, something hypothetical or seemingly ridiculous can be some thing brilliant. The first aviators understood that a bird held no magical power, whatever about altitude. If these men couldn't fly, well then they would have learned new engineering techniques, along the way.

What dreams will come for the generations of today's' prosperous societies where children can access resources to overcome relatively minor learning disabilities, opposed to the aggressive and ignorant resources that successfully placed previous generations in the back of the schoolroom? The visual vantage point that it offered hardly compensated for hearing loss or impairment perceived as indifference.

What of the premature or "early" babies now breathing air where it always was, but previously too young to attain it? Or the thousands of people whose real lives were initiated "IN VITRO" (in glass)? New people that wouldn't have been, is the result.

Likewise with those having hearts incapable of the pumping cycles expected for life, some thirty years ago. Not new people with more life, is the result.

The "borrowed time" cliché is now redundant, somewhat ridiculous and a primitive view.

Modern medical procedures have made time it seems, with the clock of yesterday being wound with the hand of today.

Blindness and its' confederates have been "blind-sided" by cutting and therapeutic tooling and processes, initially designed to produce coherent light. The laser is lighting the way with eyesight improved beyond its' so called natural state of efficiency, with respect to age. Glasses and contact lenses are dispensed to the recycle bin, and rarely missed, where the finance exists.

Bone marrow and the life liquid that it generates is not necessarily confined to its' original "coil", in life, and has helped many to further appreciate their terrestrial experience.

Organs, once seemingly, having sole ownership, are transferable to no little extent. It is the thought of life that is really yours and is less transferable, though not completely.

Non-life threatening cosmetic conditions such as simple "over-bites" or incisor/molar misalignment must be a thing of the recent past. Look around and count them up. This corrective procedure helped many overcome their personal and previously stigmatised, physical appearances. Botulinum toxin or botox is commonplace as a signal blocker. Apparently, all muscular control is no longer essential, not that it ever was, but where specific muscles are paralysed, more favourable effects can occur. A "frown", whether the result of intense and prolonged concentration, or simply, "the way it is", can essentially, be neutralised.

Incidentally, botox was first used to treat "lazy eye" in 1980.

These two things alone, dental and facial configuration and re-configuration, dramatically change the outward appearance and is life-changing to those involved, whether it should be or not. That supermodel you know, for example, may not be in their present position without some intervention.

Democracies (whatever their downside), are increasing (Europe), bringing security and hope to generations of war-weary and impoverished countries. Belonging to something bigger must help in forgetting internal or local squabbles. Someone said that there was never a war between democracies, presumably, because deals can always be done where commerce is the key.

Once an idea has been "set", these days by groups and earlier by somewhat isolated individuals, it is inevitable that they will come to fruition in the same or similar form. Those "rough" men in their contraptions didn't or couldn't envisage more modern contraptions, leaving the confines of EARTH for they had some of what it takes, but not all.

It is to decide and deliver the idea that is the most difficult thing these days, for if it is accepted by just a handful of people, then commitment is made, and conviction remains.

Genetic engineering will drive on, whether we all like it or not. Behind closed doors or openly in the cities' plazas, the idea is set.

Isn't it this flexibility that makes us a unique and successful species and isn't it exactly what removed us from the caves and the clutches of carnivores? The plains of the Serengeti have been replaced by the pleasures of palaces(relatively).

"Retractors are the obstacle and protractors, the removers!".

By Seamus Dolly

The Hidden Superpowers Of Your Mind

The mind is an infinite wonder. It has the fantastic ability to
transmute your desires into their physical counterparts. You can
do anything that your mind can conceive, as long as you have the
belief and will power to back it up.

Take the case of cancer patients who were given placebo pills. 
These are just plain pills that have no healing capabilities.
So how did they get well? 

The power came from their thoughts. They were told that these
pills contain the highest amounts of cancer-fighing ingredients
which can effectively cure them in a matter of days. 

See how powerful your mind is?

They believed that their health will be restored. They have
registered in their minds that these pills will cure them of
their illnesses. In the process, the belief embedded within 
their subconscious came to reality.

So how can you use your mind to achieve your dreams? One of the
most effective ways is to use the "as if" principle.

Act as if you are the person you want to be. Act as if you are
already in possession of whatever you long to have. 

So what do you want to be? You want to be a lawyer, doctor,
athlete, or newscaster? Think, act, and feel like one. You'll
be much closer to your goal if you're constantly intact with
your objective. Be obsessed with your dream. It doesn't mean 
that if you want to be Superman you'll fly out the window. Not
a good idea!

It's not enough that you act like one, but you have to actually
ACT. Do what needs to be done. You might get so lost in your
fantasy dreamworld that you've forgotten to take some action.
Let your visions encourage and motivate you to actualize your
purpose.

The problem with the people of the modern world is that they
are too preoccupied with worries, anxieties, and negative
emotions. As a result, they are adversely affecting their
state of health.

White lies have become prevalent nowadays in order to ease the
burdens or to persuade others to do things that they thought
are unattainable.

There was once a weightlifter who couldn't lift weights in excess
of 300 lbs. So his coach devised a clever idea and told him that
the barbell he has to carry weighs only 300 lbs. With all his
might, the weightlifter managed to put it above his head. After
he puts it down, the coach told him that he has just lifted 350
lbs. of weight! It's all in the mind!

A famous person once said, "Whenever you think you can or you
can't, you're right." 

If you think you are poor, then you are; unless you properly
condition your thoughts to the positive mindset. I know it's
hard to think rich if your environment is not conducive to
such way of thinking. Use your imagination then! Visualize
your house to be a mansion, your old car to be a limousine,...
Well you get the picture. 

There is absolutely no limit with what the mind can achieve. But
you have to combine belief, will power, and action with positive
thinking in order to arrive at your intended destination.

By Michael Lee

Seeking Initiative and Innovation? Reward Failure!

Based on Proprietary Research

"If you want to increase initiative and innovation, you have to encourage and embrace failure. A culture that punishes less-than-ideal risk-related outcomes will stifle both initiative and innovation".

Prevailing in the face of intense competition requires companies to be nimble and innovative.

An innovative and high-initiative culture helps an organization respond better to market signals. It can better exploit opportunities, get new products and services to market more quickly and more often capture first-mover advantage.

I had an opportunity to conduct some proprietary research recently that sheds light on how to increase innovation and initiative-taking in organizations.

The Situation

I was retained by the research and development operation of one of the world's largest consumer products companies. In the past few years, they had acquired another consumer products company with some well known and highly regarded brands. The problem was that the acquired company had a risk avoidance culture in stark contrast to the acquiring company's more risk inclined culture.

The talented scientist and engineers in the R&D operation were a valued element of the acquisition. But the ingrained risk aversion within the R&D staff was resulting in insufficient innovation.

My task was to help these high value team members expand their comfort zone and become more risk inclined.

The Research

Prior to the time spent on-site at the research labs, I conducted an anonymous on-line survey for the R&D staff. The survey addressed the following questions.





Organizational Culture - How, if at all, has the risk culture changed in your organization in the last few years?



Risk Hesitancy - What is your primary source of hesitation when it comes to taking work-related risks?



Risk Catalysts - What would make you more comfortable taking thoughtful, well-considered work-related risks?

Forty four people responded to the survey. The results of the survey yielded some fascinating insights.

Survey Result Highlights

Risk Hesitancy - What is your primary source of hesitation when it comes to taking work-related risks?





The Implications of Failure - 59%



Lack of Permission, Leadership, Support or Organizational Capability - 14%



I Have No Hesitancy - 5%





Risk Catalysts - What would make you more comfortable taking thoughtful, well-considered work-related risks?





Less-than-ideal outcomes being commended and not having a negative effect on career. - 49%



Leadership Direction and Support - 31%



Already Comfortable Taking Such Risks - 8%





Note: Responses have been grouped by category. Respondents were provided an open ended essay format for their responses with no suggested answers provided.

Perceived Condition

The great majority (61%) of those responding said they were being encouraged to take more risks. The balance, in pretty much equal proportions, said there had been no significant change in the last few years (21%) or they were being encouraged to take fewer risks (18%).

Clearly, the leadership of the organization had sent the message that more risks needed to be taken.

Risk Hesitancy

When asked about their primary source of hesitation in taking work-related risks, almost six in ten (59%) said the implications of failure.

The second most common response was provided by only 14% and centered on a their perceiving a lack of permission, leadership, support or organizational capability as making them hesitant to take risks.

Five percent said they had no risk hesitancy. The balance of the responses fell into many categories but focused on time and resource constraints.

Risk Catalysts

When asked what would make them more comfortable taking thoughtful, well-considered work-related risks, fully eight in ten said either assurances that less-than-ideal outcomes would not negatively effect their regard or career (49%) or clear direction and support from leadership to take risks (31%).

Eight percent reported that they were already comfortable taking risks. As with risk hesitancy, the balance of the responses fell into a variety of categories but again focused on time and resource constraints.

Insights

The message of the respondents is clear.

The survey data shows that the respondents were calling out for permission to take risks and a clear understanding that unsuccessful risks would not hamper their opportunities, regard or advancement.

The clear conclusion is that people who take thoughtful, well-considered risks have to be lauded, regardless of the outcome of the risk.

If you want to increase initiative and innovation, you have to encourage and embrace failure. A culture that punishes less-than-ideal risk-related outcomes will stifle both initiative and innovation.

Action Steps

Increasing initiative and innovation requires five simple steps.







Clearly communicate the risk profile you are asking your people to adopt and why it is important to the organization's success.



Never allow an unsuccessful risk to hamper a team member's opportunities and advancement.



Establish a high-profile award program that rewards BOTH risks that pay-off and well-considered risks that do not. Awards need to be announced simultaneously and rewarded identically.



Establish a formal non-critical process for gleaning the lessons from unsuccessful risks. Communicate the lessons.



Provide your people with situation-specific risk assessment tools to help them make better risk-related decisions.

"A Culture of Screw-Ups"

Increasing the level of effective risk-taking, initiative and innovation in an organization is not a short-term process. Risk inclination and risk tolerance are core elements of an organization's culture. It is part of what defines the organization. But it can be gradually changed by implementing the steps above, being consistent in emphasizing the importance to the organization of taking thoughtful risks and rewarding initiative and innovation.

If you are questioning the value of a culture that encourages risk-taking as a path to success, consider this statement by Scott Bedbury as reported in Newsweek. Bedbury was head of advertising at Nike for seven years in the 1990s. He says the key to Nike's success is its willingness to embrace "a culture of screw-ups. It really does learn from its mistakes." An insightful comment about Nike - one of the most successful and innovative companies of our time.


By Jim McCormick